Friday, June 22, 2018

Whorephobia

I was walking up Avenue A this morning, when I saw this sign pasted onto a ParkNYC meter:

Respect All Sex Workers.

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

Whorephobia? Who's afraid of whores? I didn't know there were whores in the East Village!

Here's an even closer close-up:

Closer close-up.

East Villagers are not afraid of anything, let alone whores!

Maybe this sign was meant for a different East Village!

#eastvillage #avenuea #parknyc #signs #whorephobia

New News?

Recently, I walked past the beloved The Stand on Avenue C and East 6th Street, and I noticed something I hadn't seen before: The New News.

Do you see it?

It's at the top.

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

It's the same as a gift I received recently:

New Nooz.

Of course, nothing surpasses Noo-Noos when it comes to tidying up:


In many ways, life in the East Village is very much like life in Tubbyland!

#eastvillage #6thstreet #avenuec #nooz #teletubbies #thenewnews #thestand

Monday, June 18, 2018

Like A Rorschach Test

What do you see, when you look at this picture?

What do you see?

Some East Villagers see a graffiti mess covering the front of what was once the local McDonald's, on Third Avenue.

Others see signs advertising a Latino Punk Fest, at a place called The (beloved) Glove:

Latino Punk Fest.

Look — it's a benefit show!

A benefit show.

Where is The Glove, you ask?

Ask a punk email!

#eastvillage #theglove #mcdonalds #latinopunkfest #thirdavenue #graffiti #signs #rorschachtest

What's The Point?

What's the point of a tree guard that doesn't correct the posture of the tree?

None, you say?

Behold, a pointless tree guard on East 5th STreet:

Pointless tree guard.

As the twig is bent, so leans the tree guard!

#eastvillage #5thstreet #trees #treeguards #pointless

Mürmur

I was walking down Avenue A a couple of weeks ago, when I saw this assemblage of paper and tape at the corner of St. Mark's Place:

Paper and tape.

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

This has been going on for as long as East Village Today, and yet we've never crossed paths before this!

Maybe I'll get myself interviewed!

#eastvillage #avenuea #mürmur #signs #stmarksplace

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Public Art Award

Art for art's sake is all well and good, but art for recognition's sake is even better!

Just such recognition recently took place at the La Plaza Cultural community garden, on Avenue C and East 9th Street.

Behold:

Public Art Award sign. 

No doubt this sign is to recognize the discarded refuse from thirty years ago that adorns the fence surrounding the garden:

Discarded refuse.

This just goes to show you what you're up against in the public art arena. Sewer artists have some stiff competition!

#eastvillage #9thstreet #avenuec #communitygardens #laplazacultural #publicartaward #signs

Sewer Art

Sometimes when you're walking around the East Village, you see things and you think: I wonder how that happened?!

This sewer grate, at the corner of First Avenue and East 6th Street, is one of those things.

One of those things.

To the untrained eye, it looks like two separate spillages, but if you pay close attention you will see that both the puke and the paint are the same distance from the top corners of the sewer grate, and cover the same area.

This is an art project if ever there was one!

#eastvillage #sewergrates #artproject #firstavenue #6thstreet

Planterless Plant

I was walking across East 5th Street a few weeks ago, when I saw this empty planter:

Empty planter.

You can see dirt in front of and to the side of the planter, suggesting that someone recently removed something (a plant, perhaps?) from it.

Following the direction of the dirt, I saw this:

Planterless plant.

It was a planterless plant.

Here they are in context:

In context.

Probably some anarchist did it!

#eastvillage #planters #deadplants #cellardoors #anarchists #5thstreet

Destroy Your Icons?

Someone doesn't want East Villagers to have any icons!

Behold, as seen on East 2nd Street:

What's that?

That's kind of hard to read. Here's a close-up:

Close-up.

I'm not sure what they're selling, but they're not going to have much luck getting someone famous to endorse them with this message!

#eastvillage #2ndstreet #posters #destroyyouricons

Friday, June 8, 2018

East Village Omelette

There's an old saying in the East Village: If you want to make an omelette, you gotta break a few eggs!

Behold, on East 12th Street, an East Village omelette:

Omelette.

I gotta tell you, I don't really understand that saying.

#eastvillage #eggs #omelettes #12thstreet

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Labor Day LP

Walking down St. Mark's Place back in April, I spied with my little eye an abandoned cardboard box containing four long-playing records by East Village celebrity Spencer Breslin:

Long-playing records.

I wonder if he's related to Jimmy Breslin? I bet he is — it's not that common a name, Spencer.

A month later, I saw this, on East 7th Street:

On East 7th Street.

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

I wonder if these are the same records? Maybe someone took them from the box on St. Mark's Place, walked a block, and left them here.

It's certainly a much better background!

#eastvillage #spencerbreslin #stmarksplace #7thstreet #records #laborday #celebrities

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Sidewalk Damage

Even when trees die and are carted away, the damage they leave behind remains.

Behold, outside La Plaza Cultural community garden, on East 9th Street and Avenue C:

Sidewalk damage.

I am the Larox. I speak for the sidewalks!

#eastvillage #trees #laplazacultural #9thstreet #avenuec #sidewalks #communitygardens

The Stand

A long time ago, I wrote about an advertisement for an art gallery opening that was painted onto the side of a little stand at the corner of Avenue C and East 7th Street.

It turns out that stand is the art gallery! It's called The Stand.

This past Memorial Day weekend, I passed by there again, and saw this:

Flea market.

A flea market!

The woman seated in the picture above is the gallery curator. She was selling things to raise money to support the art classes she gives to adults with disabilities.

Here is another picture:

Another picture.

The mural in the back was painted by her students!

Here is a close-up:

Close-up.

It just goes to show you: behind every closed door in the East Village… is probably an art gallery!

#eastvillage #6thstreet #artgalleries #avenuec #thestand #fleamarket

Sunday, June 3, 2018

East Village Today on Yelp

Back in March, East Village Today signed up with Yelp. I thought it was time I started Yelping about how cool the East Village is!

Today, I wrote about Tompkins Square Park. Cool, right?!

You can look for it there, or read it here:

Tompkins Square Park.

Red areas are best avoided. The one near the letter A is mostly occupied by drug addicts and alcoholics. The rectangle at the top is a hangout for gang members. It's only accessible from the basketball court area (L); it's not accessible through J or K.

Yellow areas are yellow because they're near red areas. They seem to be where people hang out who identify with the drug addicts and alcoholics, but aren't drug addicts or alcoholics themselves. I could be wrong, though, about the identifying thing.

A - This is the chess-table area. Unfortunately, it's been completely taken over by drug addicts and alcoholics. I've seen people playing chess here, but be aware.

B - This is where the church lady does her church thing. It's yellow because she draws heavily from the red area below. She doesn't allow drug use or drinking or even smoking during her sermons, but why pass through when she's working, eh? Everyone will just stare at you.

C - This is the most popular children's playground in the park. There are two others (S and T, below), but this is the one most parents take their kids to. It has sprinklers and a big sandbox, too.

D - This is called Multi-Purpose Courts. Most times, it's filled with skateboarders, but it can be reserved for other activities like pavement hockey, and then the skateboarders have to leave.

E & F - E is a men's restroom and F is a women's restroom. These are horrendous. Do not use them. Actually, I've never seen the women's restroom, but I don't see how it could be any better than the men's, especially since women don't have the option of standing when they pee!

G - This is the entrance to a really excellent kid's sprinkler area, the swimming pool, and significantly better restrooms. I think you have to be a kid, or with a kid, to get in here. This is also where the park workers are when they're not somewhere else.

H - Significantly better men's restroom and changing room.

I - Significantly better women's restroom and changing room.

J - Very cool sprinkler area for kids. It's called Slocum Memorial Fountain.

K - Not the cleanest swimming pool. It's a bit like bath water after you've had your bath. Kids don't seem to mind though, and as far as I know, no one ever got sick from swimming here. You have to shower before you go in; it's a good idea to shower before you leave too!

L - Basketball courts.

M - Exercise area. My sense is that this is where guys go to exercise who are out on bail and awaiting their court appearances.

N - Handball courts.

O - Dog run. A fine place to take your dog to run with other dogs. This is also the location of the annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade, the highlight of the East Village social calendar!

P - In the Winter, this is where parents take their kids sled riding. The hill's not that big, but little kids love it! In the Summer, it's where people go to work on their sun tans. The area under the trees to the left of the letter P is where crusties gather. Crusties don't change into bathing suits. Thank God, right?!

Q - Back in the bad old days, there was a bandshell in the park, but anarchists ruined it and the city tore it down. Today, remnants of anarchists have concerts here. These days, they set up a stage. If you're into this kind of thing, this is where they occur. Also, every August, the Charlie Parker Jazz Festival is held here. It's much bigger, and crusties hate jazz, so they always find somewhere else to go that day!

R - Some years ago, hawks moved into Tompkins Square Park. Some people think they're cool. Of course, raptors are cool, but they belong in the wild, not in a city park. If you want to see them, this is the area to go. Once you're here, look for people with cameras with lenses as long as your forearm, and look in the direction they're all pointed. Keep in mind that hawks are dangerous — do not try to approach or feed one!

S & T - Two other playgrounds. These are both very nice. I don't know why more people don't take their kids to them.

That's it — have fun!

#eastvillage #selfpromotion #tompkinssquarepark #yelp