Saturday, March 31, 2018

Painting In The Rain

If you're a regular reader of East Village Today, you might think from recent posts that it's been raining steadily here.

It has — 39 days and 39 nights!

Here is a picture of a painting in the rain, on East 4th Street:

Painting in the rain.

Here is a close-up, on its side:

Close-up on its side.

One East Villager's old homestead is another East Villager's abandoned painting in the rain…

#eastvillage #4thstreet #abandonedpaintings #paintings #rain

Free Dishes

I was walking across East 6th Street this past Tuesday, when I saw these dishes abandoned on these decrepit steps:

Decrepit steps.

Someone could have tripped over these, if the bricks gave way and sent them stumbling in that direction!

Let's take a closer look at these dishes, shall we?

A closer look.

If you are in need of three mis-matching plates, they might still be there!

#eastvillage #6thstreet #abandoneddishes #recycling #steps #trash

Another Chance

I was walking home from work last night, when I passed by the beloved Jillery, at the corner of Avenue B and East 7th Street, only to discover that they are closing:

Store closing.

Just as the Chinese word for "crisis" is the same as the word for "opportunity", this store-closing gives us another chance to get a Chase bank branch to open here!

Just imagine, a shiny Chase bank:

Shiny Chase bank.

…instead of this graffiti mess:

Graffiti mess.

It makes my skin tingle just thinking about it!

#eastvillage #7thstreet #avenueb #chasebank #jillery

Friday, March 30, 2018

Mango vs. The Misfits

Speaking of The Misfits, according to a poster I saw on the side of the building on East 5th Street and Avenue A, they're playing on May 19 in Newark.

The one in New Jersey.

The Misfits poster.

Here is a close-up:


It wasn't up for very long though.

A week later, I walked by again and saw this:


East Villagers care more about clothes than they do devil-worshipping bands from the 80s that they would have to go all the way to New Jersey to see!

#eastvillage #5thstreet #avenuea #mango #newjersey #posters #themisfits

The Misfits Liberty Bell

I was walking across East 7th Street this morning, when I saw this sticker of The Misfits insignia in the shape of the Liberty Bell:

Misfits Liberty Bell.

Philadelphia freedom!

The skull reminds me of Spacemen 3's "Dreamweapon: An Evening of Contemporary Sitar Music" CD.

The one above it reminds me of a time I got a fork stuck in my head.

Apart from that, nothing.

#eastvillage #graffiti #graffitistickers #libertybell #themisfits #spacemen3

Abandoned Shoes

I was walking across East 7th Street this past Tuesday, when I saw a box up ahead.

"What could that be?" I thought to myself.

A box.

I went in for a closer look.

A closer look.

It was a pair of abandoned shoes — Topshop, no less!

It reminded me of a scene from "Waiting For Godot", which I will quote here:
Your boots, what are you doing with your boots? 
(turning to look at the boots). I'm leaving them there. (Pause.) Another will come, just as... me, but with smaller feet, and they'll make him happy. 
But you can't go barefoot! 
Christ did. 
Christ! What has Christ got to do with it. You're not going to compare yourself to Christ! 
All my life I've compared myself to him.

There you are, on this Black Friday…

#eastvillage #7thstreet #abandonedshoes #blackfriday #goodfriday #topshop #waitingforgodot


Walking around the East Village, you are bound to see some strange things.

Take this, for example: the beloved Izakaya restaurant on East 6th Street.


It hardly looks like a restaurant at all — where's the name?

I don't know if the window is for ordering food to go, but I wouldn't stand on cellar doors to do it.

I think they must keep a motor running inside, since someone wrote on their door:

Written-on door.

They could have ask politely, instead of defacing the door…

#eastvillage #graffiti #izakaya #restaurants

Bacon Cheeseburger On The Ground

Who does this? Who buys a bacon cheeseburger with side salads, eats the salads, then throws the bacon cheeseburger on the ground?

Thrown on the ground.

Someone who lives on East 6th Street, that who!

Here is a close-up of the calamity:


Unless it's a vegan bacon cheeseburger, in which case, why not throw it on the ground?

#eastvillage #abandonedfood #6thstreet #baconcheeseburger #sidesalads


People sometimes ask me, they say: Hey, East Village Today, just how old are East Villagers?

They're so old, they still have 3.5" computer disks in their apartments (until they put them out on their windowsills)!

Behold, on East 7th Street:

Box of diskettes.

In case you don't know what a diskette is, I took one out, so you could see it:


There was more than one in the box (with Cool graffiti behind it):

More than one diskette.

The funny thing is, whoever abandoned these diskettes thinks someone will pick them up and take them home!

#eastvillage #diskettes #cool #graffiti #7thstreet

Selfie Portrait

East Villagers artists would be lost without their smart phones. (Literally!)

This artists painted a selfie of herself on the sidewalk, at the corner of Second Avenue and East 7th Street:

Selfie Portrait.

Here is a close-up:


Oops — NSFW!

#eastvillage #7thstreet #artists #nsfw #secondavenue #selfieportrait #sidewalks

Another Amazing Dog

Everywhere you go in the East Village these days, signs of Spring can be found.

Here are some daffodil buds, budding up in a tree bed on Avenue C:


Wait a minute — what is that?!

Balancing dog poop.

It's double-decker dog poop, balancing on the tree guard!

What an amazing dog.

#eastvillage #avenuec #daffodilbuds #dogpoop #spring #treebeds #treeguards #amazingdogs

Pizza Love

East Villagers love pizza.

They love pizza so much that they won't even park their cars on it, if it happens to be in the street, like East 7th Street, for example:

No parking on pizza.

That doesn't explain why the pizza is there to begin with, but I'm pretty sure whoever dropped it was off looking for a memorial candle to place beside it.

#eastvillage #pizza #7thstreet #noparking


What do you do when you have a mouse in your apartment? You can't shoot it, like John Wayne in "True Grit". That's illegal!

East Villagers would say it's also cruel. For them there's glue traps. But then, what do you do after you caught the mouse?

Behold, on East 7th Street:


Here is a close-up:


Now, the mouse can decay and become fertilizer, as nature intended!

#eastvillage #deadmouse #mousetraps #treebeds #7thstreet #maxcatch #gluetraps

Local Starbucks Is Safe

There's a joke in the East Village that if you turn the country on its side, everything loose will roll to California.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

This morning, East Villagers learned that in California, local Starbuckses have to label their coffee as cancer-causing.

First off, how do you label coffee? Wouldn't it make more sense to label the cup?

But what if you get hot chocolate, or tea? The cup would be misleading. They'll have to have two types of cups from now on!

Luckily, the local Starbucks, on Avenue A and St. Mark's Place, won't have to do this.

Local Starbucks on Avenue A and St. Mark's Place.

East Villagers can continue to enjoy their coffee without scary death faces on their cups!

#eastvillage #avenuea #california #cancercausing #stmarksplace #starbucks

One Step Forward

Back in August, I proposed that we remove the trees in the East Village and replace them with artificial trees.

Slowly, movement is being made in that direction, as you can see from this specimen on East 6th Street:

Branchless tree trunk.

It's quite beautiful, actually.

#eastvillage #6thstreet #trees #deadtrees

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Famous Among East Villagers

Sometimes people ask me, they say: "Hey East Village Today, do East Villagers drink those crafty beers I hear so much about"?

No way, José, I say — those beers are full of calories and will make you fat!

Just this morning, I passed by the beloved Niagara, on Avenue A, as they were taking in a shipment of Bud Light:

Bud Light.

It's famous among East Villagers!

#eastvillage #niagara #avenuea #budlight

Monday, March 26, 2018

One East Villager's Art…

…is another East Villager's trash, as can be seen on East 5th Street this past Friday morning:


Here is a close-up:


Maybe if the owner had hung the painting vertically, s/he would have seen its beauty!

#eastvillage #trash #art #paintings #5thstreet #trashcans

Come Again Soon

East Villagers love visitors — we love when people come to see our wacky coolness.

Yet, all good things must end, and one East Villager expressed with this sign directed to people leaving from East 5th Street:

I Will Miss You.

Come again soon!

#eastvillage #signs #iwillmissyou #5thstreet

Asymmetrical Window Guards

Symmetry is a sign of an ordered mind. Symmetry is not the name of the game in the East Village!

You can see example of asymmetry everywhere you go, including these window guards on East 5th Street:

Window guards.

It's not that there's an air conditioner guard at the top of the left window, it's the bottom guards that are funky.

Funky, funky, but chic!

#eastvillage #windowguards #5thstreet #asymmetry #funkybutchic

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Dubious Response

Winter Storm Toby left in its wake a trail of dubious responses.

One such dubious response was this, at the corner of Avenue C and East 5th Street:


This makes no sense at all!

#eastvillage #5thstreet #avenuec #donotenter #trashcans #snow #dubious #winterstormtoby

Conserving Labor

Everyone knows trees need water, even during the Winter.

But when the snow melts, most of it drains away into the sewers, and people have to water the trees themselves!

One enterprising East Villager, on East 6th Street, found a way around this by shoveling snow into the tree bed:

Into the tree bed.

This way, when the snow melts, it will water the tree, and s/he won't have to!

#eastvillage #treebeds #6thstreet #trees #snow

Clayton Patterson Lego Figure

Lucy van Pelt said: "How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubblegum cards"?

While true in the 1960s, today, in the 21st century, you know you've made it when they make a Lego figure out of you!

Presenting (on St. Mark's Place), Clayton Patterson:

Clayton Patterson Lego figure.

Lego riot in a public station
gonna fight and tear it up
in a hyper nation for you
More obscure references than you can shake a stick at!

#eastvillage #beethoven #claytonpatterson #legos #lucyvanpelt #sonicyouth #stmarksplace #teenageriot

It's Too Hard

East Villagers do not like to shovel the sidewalk — it's hard work!

One East Villager gave it a shot, here on the corner of East 5th Street and Avenue C, but didn't get very far:

"I'm tired".

For those who don't know, the cleared space in the street is due to there having been a car parked there.

#eastvillage #snow #sidewalks #5thstreet #avenuec

Not-So-Shadowy Figure

I was walking across East 2nd Street a little over a week ago, when I saw this no-so-shadowy figure affixed to the construction fence there:

Not so shadowy.

It reminded me of Richard Hambleton’s Shadowman from the 1980s, back in the bad old days!

Just not as threatening…

#eastvillage #2ndstreet #silhouette #richardhambleton #shadowman

Ring Toss

Of all the games on the county fair midway, the Ring Toss is arguably the most challenging.

That's why East Villagers practice!

Behold, on East 5th Street:

A winner!

Either that, or it's a motorcycle parking spot!

#eastvillage #ringtoss #tires #firehydrants #5thstreet

Impending Sidewalk Collapse

I was walking across East 6th Street last week, when I saw this new hole in the sidewalk in front of the apartment building between the Church Of God and the 6BC Botanical Garden:

New hole.

What does it look like inside, you ask? What is it people are going to fall into when the collapse occurs?


It's dark as a dungeon, down in that hole!

It's grainy too.

#eastvillage #6bcbotanicalgarden #churchofgod #6thstreet #sidewalk #grainy #holes

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Interesting Head

Speaking of snowmen, sitting on a bench in Tompkins Square Park, in the circular area where the bandshell used to be, was this armless and broken-legged specimen:

Armless specimen.

He had a very interesting head:

Interesting head.

A fun day was had by all snowmen!

#eastvillage #snowman #tompkinssquarepark

Zombieland Empty

The section of Tompkins Square Park near the Avenue A and East 7th Street entrance, that locals refer to as "zombieland", usually inhabited by drug addicts and alcoholics, was remarkably empty yesterday after Winter Storm Toby.


Zombieland empty.

It was not empty of snowmen, however!

But first…

I was walking down East 7th Street when I saw this snowman head, without a body!

Head without a body.

It didn't take long to solve the mystery. When I walked into Tompkins Square Park I saw this snowman body without a head in, of all places, zombieland:

Body without a head.

Just kidding — the head was on the ground:

Head on the ground.

Probably some anarchist did it!

On another table was this legless snowman:

Legless snowman.

What a sad collection of snowmen!

#eastvillage #7thstreet #anarchists #avenuea #snowman #tompkinssquarepark #zombieland

Mound Of Snow

Yesterday morning, before the start of Winter Storm Toby, the great blizzard that wasn't, I was walking across East 5th Street, when I saw this small mound of snow, left over from Winter Storm Skylar, the last great blizzard that wasn't:

Mound of snow.

It's strange how some snow lasts and other doesn't…

#eastvillage #snow #5thstreet #winterstormtoby #winterstormskylar